Bill Clinton needed but the last Republican President is unwanted

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Bill Clinton needed but the last Republican President is unwanted

Post  2write on Wed Aug 01, 2012 5:19 am

Pass Notes No 3,221: Bill Clinton

The old comeback kid is, er, making a comeback to US politics, Tuesday 31 July 2012 20.00 BST

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Age: 65.

Appearance: A bouffant Steve Martin.

The former US president? Yes siree Jimbob.

The former Arkansas governor who gave the country eight years of peace, prosperity and sex scandals? Again, yes.

Is this going to be one of those Pass notes where we snigger about Monica Lewinsky's infamously stained dress? It's going to be one of those Pass notes where we note his return to American politics.

Lock up your interns! He's not running for the White House again. He couldn't even if he wanted to, since he has already served two terms. But he has been invited to address the Democratic convention next month. Word is, Billy Boy will be making a forceful case for Barack Obama's economic vision.

As opposed to a half-hearted one? That's nice. And there's a rumour he'll be playing his saxophone.

Really? Yes, a rumour I've just started. And it must be true because it's in the Guardian.

Did Clinton endorse Obama in 2008? He did indeed, even though his wife Hillary ran against the man for the Democratic nomination. Meanwhile, the last Republican president …

We know who you mean. No need to name him. … is not involved in Mitt Romney's campaign and will be avoiding the Republican get-together.

Because even his own party find him embarrassing? Precisely, whereas Clinton's America had a booming economy and the sort of bijou warlets that any president could be excused for getting into. Also, he has made more friends with the Clinton Foundation.

An exciting new cosmetic that covers any blemish yet leaves your skin feeling shower-fresh? No. It's a charity tackling things such as disaster relief, disease prevention and climate change. Last Friday, Clinton told the International Aids Conference in Washington how his "health access initiative" has saved South Africa $700m on HIV testing and antiretroviral treatment.

If only some of our British politicians were like him. What, brave enough to tackle the world's biggest problems?

No, living in America.

Do say: "Ladies and gentlemen, it's that star of the 1990s …"

Don't say: "… and she's wearing that dress."

"Squidward, you're steaming. You're like a steamed vegetable, only smarter!" - Spongebob Squarepants
Freedom Fiction Journal~Orison B

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